


The Revenant

by LuciaWilt



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Crying, Gen, Heavy Angst, Introspection, Loneliness, M/M, its really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 05:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciaWilt/pseuds/LuciaWilt
Summary: That ghost just keeps haunting him, even when it's taken everything from him.





	The Revenant

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czv8J1W4yYU
> 
> Obviously where the title came from. and I've been having emotions about Steve lately so that just kind of progressed to emotions about Tony.

Tony forgot the last time he cried. He knew it wasn't when his father died. He perhaps shed a few tears for his mother, but it wasn't much. He had pushed it down, swallowed that bitter pill without any aide. It hurt for a while, and perhaps it still hurt, but he got over. 

Tony grew and learned how to handle the pain of losing his parents in a car accident. Or, what he thought was a car accident. Maybe he cried after the 100th time Howard compared him to Steve. Maybe he sobbed after all the times of hearing, "Nobody will ever measure up to the Captain; especially not you."

Maybe he cried. Tony can't remember. Now he felt a strange twist in the back of his throat. It was like acid, like bile rising up. A part of his brain was getting ready to throw up. Tony knew it would hurt worse with how chilly the air was, plus the beating his body just took. 

Yet the vomit never came. Instead, he felt a burn rip down the skin of his freezing cheeks. That was like molten lava on his skin and then it hit him.

He was crying. Tony leaned down until the skin of his forehead was pressed against the frigid stone beneath him. He felt his knees tuck up under his body, pulling himself closer and closer until his face was in the snow. There was a moment of silence that seemed to stretch on forever before the loudest heaving sob Tony had ever heard come from his own body broke out of him. 

Tony screamed at the top of his lungs as he sobbed harder and harder into the ground; some throw up actually slipping from his mouth. The bile left a disgusting yellowish brown color in the snow. God it was so painful to cry.

He hated that he was crying. His eyes burned as he looked over to the shield that lay on the ground a few feet away from him. Why? Why did Steve do that? Why did he choose Barnes over hi- them? That...that thing killed his parents. And as much as Tony knew it was unfair to call Barnes that, he was bitter and angry and grieving over a secret he never knew.

Rogers knew. Rogers knew that Barnes had killed his mother and his father yet... he chose him. Tony felt another loud sob break through his chest at thinking about how strongly Steve loved Barnes. 

That was something Tony knew he would never achieve, never get in his lifetime or the next.

Tony lost everything when Steve dropped that shield and walked away with Barnes in his arms. He lost a friend, an ally. Tony lost a confidant and a partner.

That shield was there but Tony knew better.

He lost that last connection he had with his father.

All Tony had now was the sound of his own broken sobs.


End file.
